I am major loner

I am sitting here playing The Office DVD board game all by myself---now this could go two ways I could be like "Yeah I'm such a die hard Office fan that I play the board game! Even when there is nobody else to play the game with me! Take that!" or I could be like "I have no friends and I spend Saturdays watching re-runs of shows,cleaning, and playing board games by myself"

I'm thinking number two sounds right.

Also I have so much free time I have come up with a theory on why Cinderella and her fellow Disney Princess are screwing up America. Here is my theory:

THEY DON’T MAKE GLASS SLIPPERS IN A SIZE 12


Young girls everywhere are being lied to. Turn on any Disney Princess movie and the lies that are being fed to the young women of the world are astounding. Let us take a look at the lovely Cinderella. Let me break down the lies for you.

LIE 1 & 2: Cinderella is woken up by her little creature friends and immediately begins to sing about “no matter how your heart is grieving, if you just keep on believing the dreams in your heart will come true!” What a load of crap! My heart has grieved for smaller feet and I used to believe they would shrink and yet there has been no foot shrinkage! Also no normal person can talk to birds and or mice, and if they do believe they can talk to animals we like to put them in a special little place with padded walls and medicine in little plastic cups; or we blame hallucinogens. I think number two is more likely. It’s only a matter of time before little Sally says, “Mom, why has Cinderella fallen off the wagon again?”

LIE 3: Blondes with blue eyes and ruby red lips and porcelain skin are all the rage. This is only true if you are A) a working woman (and by this I mean a porn star) B) a working woman (and by this I mean working in Hollywood but there isn’t much of a difference between A and B these days)

LIE 4: “Leave the sowing to the women, you go get the trimmin’!” What a sexist statement! The best fashion designers our there are men! Give the male mice a chance!

LIE 5: Now this is the biggest lie of them all---and I blame this lie for the high divorce rate. In Cinderella she is all poor and lonely---I mean the girl talks to animals for heavens sake she must be lonely and/or super insane. Well a “magic fairy godmother” comes and turns everything around for her then she goes to the ball and the prince of the whole freakin kingdom falls in love with her while they are dancing! Now if men magically fall in love with a woman while they are dancing I need to find a way to go waltzing with Christian Bale! So they fall in love and the prince whisks her off to the castle and now she is all rich and has no worries. Notice where the major change comes…..she MARRIES HIM AND EVERYTHING IS BETTER! What crap! Marriage is hard---not that I have any real idea but I’ve lived with enough couples to realize it aint no walk in the freakin daisy field. Now people get married and they think everything will be awesome and then babies happen and mortgage and high gas prices and all of a sudden there is no milk and little Johnny just cut off his brothers hair and all of a sudden little Susan has an explosive diaper. Marriage is no cake walk and it doesnt make everything better----but thats not what Cinderella wants you to think! I blame you Cinderella for the disillusionment of women everywhere.

3 reasons why I love being a nanny

Reason 1: Kids are adorable and hilarious! Especially Nina and Henry, they both fell right asleep and I was able to shower without having to listen to make sure they didnt get into trouble. They are both so loving and Henry says "ove you chelle" and it melts my heart, and Nina understands when you are sad and she gives the best little hugs.

Reason 2: Sean and Lisa are really nice to me and I am able to joke around with them and I feel comfortable here.

Reason 3: I get to go to Mexico with them!

Kids say the darndest things

Today I had my first ever visit from my visiting teacher. It was your normal Christmas lesson. Well this whole week I have been working on teaching Nina and Henry their alphabet. They know a few random letters. So we are sitting at the kitchen table talking and Henry comes in with two little foam letters that just happen to be a "B" and an "S" He holds up the letters in his cute chubby little hands, and just as the visiting teacher gets done saying, "Christmas is about God and not the physical gifts and we have to remember that!" Henry holds up the letters higher and shouts, "BS! BS! BS! BS!" He is so proud that he knows these two letters that he keeps saying "BS!" and then he starts running around in circles. We both cracked up and couldn't stop laughing for a good 3 minutes.

Ward Christmas parties and why they are hilarious

So I went to my very first ward Christmas party at my new ward. It was a bit weird to go and not know anyones name (they all know mine, and when the say my name they say it all high pitched and they draw it out so it sounds like michhhhelllleee, I think they do it that way because they feel bad for me that I'm a loner) So it was supposed to start at 5, I get there at 5 and almost nobody is there. This one lady who has been really nice to me, and who feels about three feet shorter than me, comes up and hugs me and tells me she is glad I came. Now this is where the hilarious part comes in, the theme of the party was like a market street in Bethlehem, so there where tents everywhere and peoples blankets on the floor (yep you got it, no tables) and because everyone lives in the mountains in that ward there were a bunch of dead animal skins hanging. The gym is small and so everyone is gathered kinda in the middle, and then there is me off in a corner sitting on a chair I found. Everyone is wearing their bathrobes and things on their heads and belts and just lookin all Bethlehemy like. Then there is me, jeans and low tops, a sweater and a ponytail. Every time someone sees me they ask me if I would like to borrow something so I can look Bethlehemy with them, I kindly turn down wearing some guys bathrobe. Then I am asked to help set out the food, there is no order and I can put it wherever I want, so I do. A table here, a table there, hey! Why not put four things on that little table and then a little bowl of olives on the middle of a huge table? So I'm thinking I'm being very hilarious and I keep laughing to myself, which gives others the wrong impression that I am having fun. We eat, the food is cold and I dont have a knife so I have to eat my chicken like a caveman, so I gave up. I maybe had one or two bites. Then comes the play! Yeah, I left. Thank the heavens for dollar menus at Wendy's! But, I'm glad I went because I got to talk to some people and I felt all Mormony which gave me a warm feeling, like freshly baked cookies. Ha!

I miss Utah!!

So my trip to Utah was amazing! I saw everyone that really mattered to me, I tried to see a few other people but nobody answered the phone! Don't they know that I was in town and they should be waiting by their phones for a call! Anyway to those I didn't get to see I hope I can catch up with you next time I come and visit. I loved the plane ride and I cant wait to take a longer flight to Mexico!!!!! So not so happy news I totally got stuck in the driveway yesterday when I was on my way to go pick up Nina, I was stuck for about an hour and my neighbor who just happens to be the kids old nanny cam and helped me get my car out from the snow. It was so bad that Lisa told me not to park in the driveway so my car is about a two minute walk down the road. It kinda shook me up and I was really frustrated that my stinkin little car wouldn't go! I miss everyone in Utah so much and it was really hard for me the whole plane ride home but luckily the kids are keeping me busy here and I have school and the house and everything to do so I am keeping busy and I only cried my eyes out the first night! That is a major accomplishment for me! Oh and for great news I just got a letter that says I will be receiving $7,181 dollars for school this year (my whole school year only costs about $8,000 dollars total!) so if I'm reading this letter correctly I have to pay less than a thousand dollars for my whole school year!!!!!! That is simply amazing!!!!! I'm calling the finance department for my school tomorrow morning to make sure, but I hope I'm right!

I'm Frustrated

I have a cold again and I have been having a super difficult time sleeping so at about 4:30 this morning I got up and took some Nquill,or however you spell it, and it knocked me out! The sleep was great, but I didnt wake up until 10:30!! Well today was Ninas Thanksgiving feast at her school so Lisa took the kids to that and took Henry to get a HepA shot, and to get a HAIRCUT!!! Now, normal haircuts are no big deal but Henrys haircut is a big deal because Sean didnt want it to happen---now he is very upset and anti social and thats very frustrating because I dont know what to so or do or how to act and it makes me feel helpless so its frustrating.

Good news though, I'm starting classes on Monday and I am very very very excited about that!


I CANT WAIT TO COME HOME AND SEE EVERYBODY!!!!!!

Thanksgiving is almost here!!!

Only a couple more weeks until I'm comin home! I cant wait to see my family and friends and everyone again! The only sad part is I dont know when else I can come and visit besides next year at Thanksgiving time. Sad. Well anyway I am still excited!!!!!!!!

I'm a pirate!! rrrrrrr matey!

SO I'm not a pirate for Halloween (I'm going as Christopher Columbus) I'm actually a pirate by default! Yesterday Nina, Henry and I were playing tickle---I got a little worn out and stopped for a few minutes, Nina was sitting on the ground with me but she was in front of me---well she flung her hand back while screaming "again!" and nailed me in my left eye with her very strong thumb. My eye went down a bit and back into my head and I had to blink a few times for it to feel normal again. My eye turned the color of my hair and I finally decided to call Lisa and ask her what I should do "go to the doctors!" So I called my mom and asked her to find me a doctor---I went and they gave me an eye patch---the minute it was on Nina said, "you look like a pirate Michelle!" I had a follow up visit today and the doctor said that I have a few tiny scratches on my cornea and gave me some antibiotic eye drops to prevent infection while they heal up. Being a pirate for a day wasn't too bad except for the whole only seeing on my right side and being totally dizzy all day---I have to say pirates are champions---they wear the eye patch with dignity and with out complaint. They truly are American Heroes.

ITS SNOWING!!!

So it started snowing late last night and when I woke up at 7 to help with the kids there was 8 INCHES OF SNOW OUTSIDE! It is going to be a crazy Winter---I predict a lot of time spent in the house with toddlers! Please! I need ideas so that I can keep them busy---movies just aren't enough for these guys!

I sound like a man

Well I have the most wicked cold in the universe---my throat hurts and my nose is stuffy and on top of it when I talk I sound like a man! Today hasn't been all that bad though---I do have both kids because Nina doesn't have school on Tuesdays or Thursdays, but she wouldn't take a nap! I had to sit next to her on the sofa so she wouldnt sing or talk and wake up Henry and every 2 minutes I would have to tell her is she didn't settle down I was going to spank her. Janet (their old nanny WHO LIVES RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET, and whenever I go outside with the kids I feel like we're being watched) was going to come over today and "show me how to do a tea party" it sounds all great and nice of her but the last few times she or her husband have been over all they have done is talk badly about Lisa and Sean, so spending time with her isnt exaclty my cup of tea---hahaha.

Happier news though---its only a few more weeks until I get to come home and visit my friends and family! I am so freakin excited--I think about it everyday :) Also I saw this HILARIOUS clip and I really really hope you few who read my blog watch it!

http://video.yahoo.com/network/100284668?v=3710199&l=4418225
I think you have to copy and paste that link---watch that one and then scroll down and watch the boy scout one---those boys are young perverted geniuses!

Thank the Lord for nap time

I think Henry had a goal to cry all morning---he met his goal. First it was his toast didn't have enough butter and then he dropped a can on his foot and cried and cried about his "urt oe! urt oe!" That's hurt toe for all you not fluent in Henryspeak. Then after I got Nina's lunch ready while her dad got her dressed Henry decided to throw all the mini pumpkins that we painted down the stairs---Lisa got mad at him for playing on the stairs and he spend the next 15 mins screaming at the top of his lungs. Nina thought this would be a great opportunity to take her clothes off so we had to get her dressed again and do her hair again---it was a crazy morning! It's days like this that make me rethink having children! Sean got ready for work and Henry gifted me with not one, but two poopy diapers! I have a lot of errands to do today, but Sean asked me to clean up the house a little. Henry helped me clean and we had a pretty productive morning---after everyone left. Now his is sleeping next to me and his little chubby cheeks are damp from crying that he isn't tired, but he looks adorable. I think the rest of the day will be better but who knows---it all depends on if Nina takes a nap at school.

I met a fellow nanny of two at the Evergreen Library yesterday and her kids and my kids got along really well---we set up some play dates for next week. It will be nice to hang out with someone my own age! Well I have to hurry and shower before Henry wakes up---last time he was really sneaky and woke up with out making any noise and tore apart the yarn that I had rolled up for hat making. What a little character.

Here are a lot of pictures since I haven't posted in a while. Here are my encounters with the giraffe I fed, cool pictures from the zoo and a little collection I like to call "Animal Bums by Michelle" also check out my cool license plate!

It lives! My laptops lives!

So I just barely got my laptop back and I hugged it and kissed and and went straight to blogging! So a lot of things have happened since I last posted---mainly the invasion of the Belgiums! Seans parents from Belgium came to visit and they are staying for three and a half weeks. They are funny and nice---but things got off to a rocky start--without going into too much detail they can speak English but they decided to speak Flemish and its rather annoying when you are left out of the conversation--and they didn't really like me at first. Well there are a few things I learned while dealing with the Flemish speaking Belgiums.
1-They pee with the door open so if you hear any movement in the toilet area--stay away
2-They also sleep naked so in case of a fire knock before entering---also they walk around the house naked I know this because I will forever and always have the bare behind of a much older gentleman imprinted in my mind
3-They have sneaky rules for playing rummy---also they have interesting ways of changing simple math to benefit themselves when adding up scores
4-They drink---a lot! Apparently is a cultural thing so I cant really call them out on it but I can say they can drink like sailors
5-Do not be surprised if you find a Flemish speaking Belgium man peeing in the great outdoors----20 feet from a toilet

The visit hasn't been all bad and I have to say that Seans mom likes a lot of the movies I like so she is pretty cool and when she sings it reminds me of my grandma and makes me happy.

In happier news-----I GOT TO FEED/PET BUT MOSTLY FEED A GIRAFFE! A REAL LIVE GIRAFFE FROM THE ZOO! I will post pictures just as soon as I feel like it.

My laptop has died and gone to laptop fixing heaven for a few days

My laptop has been all funky lately and I took it to a computer repair shop, so not a lot of posts for a few days (maybe a week or more!) Sean did a really nice thing for me and brought me home a laptop from his firm to use until mine gets back (I think, not for sure how long I will be able to use it) It has been raining a lot so its been pretty depressing around here. I am currently looking for a nanny/babysitting position to take on while I watch Nina and Henry---I want them to have a friend (or two!) that comes over to play, and plus the extra money wont be a bad thing. And I'll be needing it too! Looks like I am going to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, I'm really nervous and I have to pay for it myself so I need to find another babysitting/nanny position to go along with the one I already have. I am so excited to come home for Thanksgiving! I think about it everyday--and I think about Mindy coming out here everyday too! I am so excited! Whenever I'm missing home or feeling a little down, I just think about my Thanksgiving trip and about seeing my little baby Mindy!!!! I love you guys and you really should leave comments (mom and dad!)

I know the coolest person ever!

Check out how awesome my blog is! If blogs could win beauty contests my blog would kick ass! All thanks to Jill! I love you! My digital camera came today and I took a bunch of random photos--check em out!


This is Henry doing his "oh no!" face


Nina looking beautiful


My attempt at being artsy :P


Deer butt I saw on my way home. hahahahahahaha


Right outside my front door


The only picture I'll ever like involving feet. (Henrys feet btw)

It's not a "mystery" why I love Huge Laurie!

Summer has died

Everything was covered in fog when I woke up this morning! It was like I was in some fairy tale land and at any moment a dragon was going to pop out. It so cold outside and I truly think Summer has died--I am wearing black to mourn---so should you! This morning Henry decided it would be a great idea to take all my undies out of my drawer and sling shot them around downstairs. He laughed so hard he actually snorted---I was not laughing. I would pick up a pile of undies and put them in my drawer and he would go behind me and take them out and put them back into a pile on the floor. Then he put some under the sofa and I could not reach them so I had to get a broom and sweep up my undies from underneath the sofa. It was an eventful morning. Then during nap time he fell asleep on me and I fell asleep too and he woke me up and said "ME POOP BIGGG!" and demanded I change his diaper---he was right. On that same note when I picked up Nina from school she told me an amazing story of how she went potty at school and that it looked like a dolphin. It was a lovely story. I just finished Stiff by Mary Roach and I demand you read it.